AM I BEHIND?

Life happens and come at us so fast. One moment, you are done with primary school headed to high school, and in the blink of an eye you are done with campus or college or you are turning thirty. What happens then, when you look at your colleagues, your age mates, your former classmates and you feel like you are so behind in terms of milestones and achievements?

Recently, I was having a talk with a group of people. The main sentiment was, we are finishing school, and nobody knows as of yet, where life will take them. However, in a little time, maybe two months or two years or five years, some will be way ahead in life, while others will not be so ahead. The depth of the conversation did not hit me until I found out that an old friend had opened a very successful restaurant, a few were driving huge vehicles, others are almost reaching mars. Then I looked at myself, same age, very tired and drained, trying to finish school and get my degree and so confused about what I will be and which path I will take in life.

Believe it or not, this is a crisis that most people go through. As I write this for you, I also write this to myself. We often get lost in our heads and in our thoughts. If there is one thing that has posed a challenge for many of us and become a cause of headaches and endless thoughts, it is social media. Yes, the world is a global village, but at what cost? Many of us see the people we used to know, used to work with, used to study with on social media, living their lives and we automatically start to overthink. I’ll admit it, I am a victim. Once you start seeing as though you are so behind, so out of sync with everyone your age, you label yourself a failure. Your achievements are no longer your own, but they start to look like minuscule steps towards an unattainable future. That is where we go wrong. How then, is one able to see past this?

People will always be ahead of you, whether you like it or not. People will be doing better things, greater things than you. People will be living better lives than you are. People will be earning more than you are. People will be travelling on the daily to destinations you can only but dream of since you do not even have a passport. People will be spending money in a day that you couldn’t even spend in a year. It is as simple as that, people will always be ahead of you. What you do about it becomes the determinant. My advice to cope with this comes in just a few points.

1. Work hard and put consistent efforts in everything you are doing. This is one thing that helped me regain my sanity. I started to work hard and work consistently. I may not catch up to anyone, but as long as I know I am putting in adequate amounts of work for myself, nothing else truly matters.
2. Surround yourself with people who are like-minded. If there is one thing that the people I am associated very closely with especially for business have done for me is push me. That way, we focus on growing and becoming better amongst ourselves and forget about the rest of the world. This has maintained my focus and kept me very grounded.
3. Drink water. My friend, just drink water. I kid you not, you’ll still feel like you’re behind and failing, but you won’t be dehydrated. Personally, I look at water and remember the water cycle – or was it the hydrogen cycle or some cycle, I cannot really recall. I imagine the various changes and places the water passed through to reach to me as clean, treated water and I smile. If water can make it to its destination, over and over again, so can I.
4. Really reason out. Can you catch up to them by overthinking, or even miraculously? Chances are no. You will not find love and be engaged in a day. You will not have a child in a day. You will not get a million and buy a car in a day (even if you win a jackpot, there will be logistics). So will you give yourself ulcers? No. Then stop it.
5. Read my blog and understand. You are not falling behind. You are moving at your own pace. Your pace is fine. You will figure things out eventually. Things will work out. You are probably in your twenty’s or thirty’s. Who cares if you do not have all the answers? Someday you will. So breath and take your time to really live life.

Life is for the living, so live it.