WHEN I GROW UP

WHEN I GROW UP.

Growing up is a part of life. In fact, life itself is a whole giant process of growth, and I dare say, life is made of many “growing ups”. Well, a new year is almost here. Many people like to take this time just before the year ends to examine how the year has been, check out the progresses, see where there were setbacks and think of how to fix those setbacks in the new year. Resolutions are made to ensure growth, achievement of visions and such like. In that same spirit, I bring forth with me something that has been running in my mind for the past few months or so.

 Before I continue, greetings to you my lovely readers. It feels so nice to type and write again after that long break. It has been quite the long minute and I have missed this. However, after adjusting to some minor setbacks that came my way in the past month, I have returned to bless thy eyes and thy minds. So, go on, you can feast on this, I mean it is the FESTIVE season. Maybe I should eat a ton of Festive bread, hadi nifanywe brand ambassador wao. Anyway, I digress. Season’s Greetings. I do hope you are all enjoying the holidays and having a jolly time with your families and friends. It is so cold on this side of the world, but then again, when is it never cold here (sneezes in cold). It is a plus though, because now I get to drink all the coffee in the world without my mom calling me a drug addict.

Growth is a continuous process of change. Whether the change is physical, emotional, mental, financial, skills-wise, academically or career-wise, it all is growth. When we were young and still in primary school, teachers used to ask what we would want to be when we grew up. Personally, this would always change every year. I wanted to be a poet, an author, a musician, a neurosurgeon, a lawyer, an air hostess and a bird, a duck in particular.

We all had a dream a vision, a goal, an aspiration that we looked at and saw ourselves in in the future. We are still growing up. I know I still am. There are things we would love to achieve. When you hear the words, when I grow up, your mind clicks somewhere. Be it a financial goal or a career path. In as much as all these aspects of life are important, as you grow, do your core values grow with you? Do the very things that make you human change as you grow? Yes, they may change, but is it for the better? I say it is truly great that you want to hold your first own million in some target years, and best of luck to you sincerely, but even as you get that million, who are you becoming?

You see, and I am no expert here, but vices, if I can call them that, like being mean, being bad, being rude, being selfish have all been made to seem like they are the model of what one should be. Even with the year ending, people are talking about how they are going to be a bad or a mean person in the next year because of what happened to them this year. It is being modeled as the superior human everyone should be. I was talking to someone close to me and they were saying that people have taken advantage of their kindness, so come the new year they are going to be unkind, they will not care whether the person in need is genuine or not. I was shocked at first, but then when I thought about it, at some point I too was frustrated with humanity, I vowed to never aid anyone. I learned however, that you do not have to be a harsh, rude, mean person unnecessarily. Boundaries, which are essential in whichever journey you are taking, come in handy at this point. Many people do not want to throw off their niceness, or kindness, but when they feel like it is being abused, the idea becomes pretty tempting. This is a story, however, for another day.

There is more to life than careers, successes, financial stability, shiny cars, giant mansions, huge numbers in the bank balances. I am not saying you should not work for this, eeiii chase that bag by all means. God knows I am too. What I mean is even as you focus on this, remember to shape who you are as a person.

When I grow up, I want to be nicer. When I grow up, I want to be kinder. When I grow up, I want to be more humble. When I grow up, I want to be more caring. When I grow up, I want to be more understanding. When I grow up, I want to be more approachable. As you grow career-wise, are you disciplined? As you attain promotions at your workplace, can your subordinates approach you, talk to you and work with you? You are a doctor, but are you nice to your patients? Do they want to be treated by someone like you? Suppose you start a business, you grow and business is booming but you have no idea on how to handle your clients, or your customers. You come off as rude and obnoxious. If you have strong enough, quality competitors, your clients will go there. Whatever you are becoming, ensure the small simple virtues are things that you possess.

When I grow up, I want to be less negative and more positive. I want to be optimistic and happier and sun shinier. I read somewhere that poets are meant to be broody, dark, souls. I want to be a sunny poet. This blog has been long, all the pent up emotions from not being able to write decided to unleash themselves here. Anyway for reading this far, here is a piece for your darling eyes.

A child I was                        

Quiet and calculating

An adult I am

Quietly thinking

Much has changed

Yet much has not

Simple I was

A being of complexity I am

Charming I was

Angry I am

Chained to an indifferent soul

Shackled to a monstrous beast

Take me back

O! Take me back

I wish not

O! I wish not

‘Tis not who I am

O! What am I turning into

Take me back

Please take me back.

_darkheartemoji_🖤

Be a person that people can identify with. Be kind even on your bad days. You never know who may need it. Be humble even when at the top of the ladder. When you fall, you can bet someone will be there to help you up. Be nice. Words can be sharper than blades. Witty, snarky remarks are at times uncalled for and they hurt.

Finally, growth is a process. Rome was not built in a day. You cannot become a doctor in a day. You cannot mold your character in a day. It takes time. As a new year starts, remember time is always flowing. Time does not stop on the 31^st of December at 2359hrs to switch the calendar. How you finish the year is how you will start the year. If I am making pancakes on the 31^st December at 2359, and it is 1^st January 2022, I will be starting the New Year making pancakes. If you want to grow, in whichever aspect, start now.

I have been obsessing over Leigh Bardugo. So to my readers, read crooked kingdom by Leigh Bardugo. My TBR list has over 718 books. It is still growing and gosh, life is becoming busier, there isn’t enough time. Anyway it is my time to leave. Happy Holidays and have a fun time.